Back here I talked about how I took the plunge, put the call out for a tribe, and had my first meet up. That was almost two months ago. I cannot explain how glad I am that I had the courage to take that first step. We have met every week since then without fail. The friendships are growing firmer every week. We have cooked, baked, chatted, cleaned, and cried together (ok, so it was only me doing the crying, but they supported me through it).
It is just so lovely to have such a great group of people to meet up with on a weekly basis, and to not have to rush the visit. To have the luxury of spending at least four hours in each others company. And we have started to see each other more in addition to the regular meets.
It is perhaps a little sad that this is such a big thing, that I am so excited about spending quality time with friends... but I do think it is rare for women and children to get together in this way now. And, it is not only us women who are getting the benefit of each other's company either, the kids get to grow up regularly seeing other adults - my son sees no other adult (apart from me and DH) as often as he sees those in this group. It is delightful to see him become more and more comfortable with them. And of course, there are the other kids! Ranging from not-quite-one, to four, it is so valuable for him to have regular, extended contact with kids both younger and older than him. It is doing wonders for his ability to understand how give and take works :)
Ahhh, Thursdays :) my new favourite day of the week :) And in case any of the girls read this - you're awesome!
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Monday, June 14, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Together Parenting
I recently came across this blog, and I was instantly inspired. Particularly by this post. It's all about getting yourself a tribe - a group of people with whom you can share your parenting journey. It's not about all moving in together. But it is about spending regular time with these people doing regular things. I think that's the key - it's not about racing around and cooking and cleaning in preparation for guests. It's about going on with your day to day life in the company of friends. Invite them over and cook together. Do the housework together.
The way we parent now is so alien to our species. Each woman is not meant to be in her house all day with her child(ren), with playgroup and grocery shopping as her social outlets. Women are meant to gather together and share their days. We need more interaction than what a cuppa can provide.
So, anyway...
Nervous as heck, I put out the call to some local mums that I know. A couple are pretty good friends. I've `cried on the shoulder of one. The others are lovely people I meant through various groups - ABA, Cloth Nappies, EC and so on. We have socialised before but irregularly and on a superficial - clean your house before they come and pretend everything about your parenting journey is absolutely wonderful - level. It is scary to open yourself up and let people into your real world. I was scared no one would reply to my initial call.
But I got lots of interest. And yesterday, we had our first get-together. So two mums came over for the morning. Old habits die hard, I have to admit I felt compelled to vac before they arrived. Once they arrived we chatted, and we baked. The kids played. Fun was had by all. We have organised to meet next week too. There should be another two women (and their kids) joining us. More cooking is on the agenda. But most importantly, real friendships are being formed.
Thank you so much Cassie for giving me the courage to finally do this!
The way we parent now is so alien to our species. Each woman is not meant to be in her house all day with her child(ren), with playgroup and grocery shopping as her social outlets. Women are meant to gather together and share their days. We need more interaction than what a cuppa can provide.
So, anyway...
Nervous as heck, I put out the call to some local mums that I know. A couple are pretty good friends. I've `cried on the shoulder of one. The others are lovely people I meant through various groups - ABA, Cloth Nappies, EC and so on. We have socialised before but irregularly and on a superficial - clean your house before they come and pretend everything about your parenting journey is absolutely wonderful - level. It is scary to open yourself up and let people into your real world. I was scared no one would reply to my initial call.
But I got lots of interest. And yesterday, we had our first get-together. So two mums came over for the morning. Old habits die hard, I have to admit I felt compelled to vac before they arrived. Once they arrived we chatted, and we baked. The kids played. Fun was had by all. We have organised to meet next week too. There should be another two women (and their kids) joining us. More cooking is on the agenda. But most importantly, real friendships are being formed.
Thank you so much Cassie for giving me the courage to finally do this!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
New Year's Resolutions
I've made a bunch of them. I know they are not for everyone, but I like to use the new year as a springboard for change. I like the idea of clean slates, a chance to start again. Having said that, I am not making huge life-changing resolutions and I'm certainly not against making more throughout the year. It's just that the dawn of a new year gives the perfect opportunity to take stock of where you are in life, and where you'd like to be this time next year.
So, what are my resolutions? Remember how in my post the other day I said I love lists? Consider yourself warned!
* write a to do list every evening for the next day, including fun things as well as the mundane
I function so much better when I have a list of things to tick off as I go about my day. Otherwise I get totally overwhelmed with the length of my day and start to go a little crazy
* one pilates or gym session a week
I didn't manage this when DH was working part-time, and now he is back to full-time so it's going to be a struggle. But there is a mum's and kids exercise class in the park that I am going to go to if it isn't too hot. And there's a Saturday morning pilates class I can do if we don't have anything on. I can also book out the little gym at my physio at a time that suits me (which is limited to when DH is home unless DS will sit happily in the pram while I exercise - I haven't tested this yet).
* do shopping every week
This may sound like a weird one, but it's not, not for me! DH has always done the shopping. He used to stack shelves at Coles so he was always so much quicker at it! He and DS have done the shopping together every week since DS was old enough to be apart from me for that long. So it will be a huge adjustment for me to do it each week.
* menu plan each week
We already do this, but I'm going to be taking more responsibility for it, and try to do it earlier than right before bed the night before grocery shopping day! It might be a little more inspired if I am awake when I do it
* cook one new recipe a month
See, as well as shopping DH has always done most of the cooking - he knows how, I don't! Well, ok, I do, but it is a struggle, I'm not confident, but I do find I enjoy it if I am organised and not rushing.
* do 15 minutes of exercise every day
I need to get fit, and I need to lose weight, but I'm not going to go all gung-ho about it. I have a bad habit of not getting out of the house unless I have something that I *need* to go out for, then I get all depressed because I get no exercise or fresh air. So, whether it's chasey in the backyard, a walk around the block (even if it's at toddler pace), or a walk around the zoo (we got memberships for christmas), it's all counted. I'll reassess this one in a couple of months time.
* read 1/2 hour 3 times a week - minimum
I love to read, but I do so little of it.
* blog 20 mins 3 times a week
Hoping this means my poor little blog won't be so neglected. I've not yet scheduled in blog-reading time yet... Need to do that. Hopefully then I'll be less inclined to come on the net randomly throughout the day - I seem to spend more time on here (doing nothing in particular) when I feel I have no time. So by allocating time-slots I hope to be on the net less but be more productive when I am on
* sew 4 hours a week.
Starting small and working from there. Also going to plot in the calendar one day a month for boys day out so I get the house to myself for an extended period of time.
* see one friend a week
Yes, that's another minimum. Again, I get into ruts where it gets too hard to get out and socialise. Well, enough of that! I always have a great time when I make the effort, so this year I am rewarding myself by doing it regularly.
* make one phone a week
I hate talking on the phone. Well, I don't really, but I hate making calls. I have a real aversion to it. I don't know why (I used to be a telemarketer lol, and quite enjoyed the job!). But with all this email, FB, blogging and chatting, the art of the telephone call has disappeared. So I am making myself pick up the phone. Human interaction is good for the soul!
* start printing photos
Digital cameras are overwhelming. Take today for example. Went to the zoo for 2 hours. With a film camera we would've taken a max of 24 photos. Today we took about 90. Sigh.... So I'm going to set aside a night in the first week of each month to print out 20 photos from the previous month. They are going to go in an ordinary album. This way I figure I will have enough for the full year, plus room for extras for special occasions. Did I mention I think about things too much? A few months down the track we'll reassess this one and maybe incorporate some scrapping goals.
Well there you have it, my resolutions. They are all really about the day to day things, the basic stuff that will keep me happy and my life rolling along nicely. There'll be a big adjustment for me this year with DH going back to work full time so I want to set myself so I survive, and hopefully, thrive. I haven't even begun to think about the big important things... that's another post. I think I've revealed more about the real me this week than I have in the entire rest of my blog. Enough for now!
So, what are my resolutions? Remember how in my post the other day I said I love lists? Consider yourself warned!
* write a to do list every evening for the next day, including fun things as well as the mundane
I function so much better when I have a list of things to tick off as I go about my day. Otherwise I get totally overwhelmed with the length of my day and start to go a little crazy
* one pilates or gym session a week
I didn't manage this when DH was working part-time, and now he is back to full-time so it's going to be a struggle. But there is a mum's and kids exercise class in the park that I am going to go to if it isn't too hot. And there's a Saturday morning pilates class I can do if we don't have anything on. I can also book out the little gym at my physio at a time that suits me (which is limited to when DH is home unless DS will sit happily in the pram while I exercise - I haven't tested this yet).
* do shopping every week
This may sound like a weird one, but it's not, not for me! DH has always done the shopping. He used to stack shelves at Coles so he was always so much quicker at it! He and DS have done the shopping together every week since DS was old enough to be apart from me for that long. So it will be a huge adjustment for me to do it each week.
* menu plan each week
We already do this, but I'm going to be taking more responsibility for it, and try to do it earlier than right before bed the night before grocery shopping day! It might be a little more inspired if I am awake when I do it
* cook one new recipe a month
See, as well as shopping DH has always done most of the cooking - he knows how, I don't! Well, ok, I do, but it is a struggle, I'm not confident, but I do find I enjoy it if I am organised and not rushing.
* do 15 minutes of exercise every day
I need to get fit, and I need to lose weight, but I'm not going to go all gung-ho about it. I have a bad habit of not getting out of the house unless I have something that I *need* to go out for, then I get all depressed because I get no exercise or fresh air. So, whether it's chasey in the backyard, a walk around the block (even if it's at toddler pace), or a walk around the zoo (we got memberships for christmas), it's all counted. I'll reassess this one in a couple of months time.
* read 1/2 hour 3 times a week - minimum
I love to read, but I do so little of it.
* blog 20 mins 3 times a week
Hoping this means my poor little blog won't be so neglected. I've not yet scheduled in blog-reading time yet... Need to do that. Hopefully then I'll be less inclined to come on the net randomly throughout the day - I seem to spend more time on here (doing nothing in particular) when I feel I have no time. So by allocating time-slots I hope to be on the net less but be more productive when I am on
* sew 4 hours a week.
Starting small and working from there. Also going to plot in the calendar one day a month for boys day out so I get the house to myself for an extended period of time.
* see one friend a week
Yes, that's another minimum. Again, I get into ruts where it gets too hard to get out and socialise. Well, enough of that! I always have a great time when I make the effort, so this year I am rewarding myself by doing it regularly.
* make one phone a week
I hate talking on the phone. Well, I don't really, but I hate making calls. I have a real aversion to it. I don't know why (I used to be a telemarketer lol, and quite enjoyed the job!). But with all this email, FB, blogging and chatting, the art of the telephone call has disappeared. So I am making myself pick up the phone. Human interaction is good for the soul!
* start printing photos
Digital cameras are overwhelming. Take today for example. Went to the zoo for 2 hours. With a film camera we would've taken a max of 24 photos. Today we took about 90. Sigh.... So I'm going to set aside a night in the first week of each month to print out 20 photos from the previous month. They are going to go in an ordinary album. This way I figure I will have enough for the full year, plus room for extras for special occasions. Did I mention I think about things too much? A few months down the track we'll reassess this one and maybe incorporate some scrapping goals.
Well there you have it, my resolutions. They are all really about the day to day things, the basic stuff that will keep me happy and my life rolling along nicely. There'll be a big adjustment for me this year with DH going back to work full time so I want to set myself so I survive, and hopefully, thrive. I haven't even begun to think about the big important things... that's another post. I think I've revealed more about the real me this week than I have in the entire rest of my blog. Enough for now!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Following on from yesterday's post, here are my answers to the questions.
1. How do you fill your space?
With sewing stuff, scrapbooking stuff
With books - a mix of gardening, novels, and parenting/self-improvement
With a lot of stuff waiting to be scrapbooked...I'm very sentimental and keen to scrapbook so I have heaps of stuff just waiting to be scrapbooked. Sigh... some would call it clutter...
2. How do you spend your time? (aka, what do you always make time for)
- being Mummy
- discussing parenting with online buddies
- sewing
- hanging out in sewing forums
- blogging (not enough!)
- making lists :) DH tells everyone that I make too many lists lol.
- decluttering - not that you can tell tho
3. How do you spend your energy? (on activities that energise you, not leave you feeling drained)
- sewing for me (but not sewing under pressure - that can be draining)
- playing with DS
- with good friends
- going for walks with DH
- getting organised/decluttering - this is very freeing, when I'm doing it because I want to, otherwise it can be a big drain.
4. How do you spend your money?
- fabric, patterns
- socialising with a few good friends
5. Where are you most organised and ordered?
- um... nowhere really! I like to be organised, and I strive to be organised, but it doesn't happen that often. I'm getting there tho!
6. Where are you most disciplined, reliable and focused?
- In my list making lol.
- I realibly research everything (this is very annoying, even for me!)
7. What dominates your thinking?
- how to be the best mum I can be - at the moment I'm thinking a lot about communication
- sewing - the next project, what fabric to buy
- our next house - where will it be, when will it be?
8. What do you visualise and dream about that is becoming a reality?
-raising a happy and healthy little boy - he's a stunning little boy and I love his personality
- our new house - tho this one is a little slow on the 'becoming a reality' part
9. What do you talk to yourself about? (what ideas are you constantly telling yourself you would like to persue)
- a tidier, more organised house with less clutter - I guess I notice it a lot more now that I am home full-time instead of out at work all day
- being more self-sufficient in terms of food items. We've been slack at this house as we were never really going to be here long... there's been lots of reading about it and planning but little doing
- that new house of ours - it seems we are going around in circles, don't know what step to take next
- regaining my fitness. It has disappeared since I became a mum. I miss the dancing and karate days...
10. What do you talk to others about?
- DS
- sewing
- gardeing
- strawbale homes
- life
- parenting
11. What is it that inspires you and has consistently inspired you?
- talking to people with similar ideals as myself - it is always inspiring to discuss your thoughts and plans with others and to hear theirs
12. What are your longest held goals?
- um... apart from the big stuff, like a happy life-long marriage (which is coming along nicely), it would be that new house that we have been dreaming of building for many years now. Too many years, it is time to make it happen!
The results? My values and goals:
1. How do you fill your space?
With sewing stuff, scrapbooking stuff
With books - a mix of gardening, novels, and parenting/self-improvement
With a lot of stuff waiting to be scrapbooked...I'm very sentimental and keen to scrapbook so I have heaps of stuff just waiting to be scrapbooked. Sigh... some would call it clutter...
2. How do you spend your time? (aka, what do you always make time for)
- being Mummy
- discussing parenting with online buddies
- sewing
- hanging out in sewing forums
- blogging (not enough!)
- making lists :) DH tells everyone that I make too many lists lol.
- decluttering - not that you can tell tho
3. How do you spend your energy? (on activities that energise you, not leave you feeling drained)
- sewing for me (but not sewing under pressure - that can be draining)
- playing with DS
- with good friends
- going for walks with DH
- getting organised/decluttering - this is very freeing, when I'm doing it because I want to, otherwise it can be a big drain.
4. How do you spend your money?
- fabric, patterns
- socialising with a few good friends
5. Where are you most organised and ordered?
- um... nowhere really! I like to be organised, and I strive to be organised, but it doesn't happen that often. I'm getting there tho!
6. Where are you most disciplined, reliable and focused?
- In my list making lol.
- I realibly research everything (this is very annoying, even for me!)
7. What dominates your thinking?
- how to be the best mum I can be - at the moment I'm thinking a lot about communication
- sewing - the next project, what fabric to buy
- our next house - where will it be, when will it be?
8. What do you visualise and dream about that is becoming a reality?
-raising a happy and healthy little boy - he's a stunning little boy and I love his personality
- our new house - tho this one is a little slow on the 'becoming a reality' part
9. What do you talk to yourself about? (what ideas are you constantly telling yourself you would like to persue)
- a tidier, more organised house with less clutter - I guess I notice it a lot more now that I am home full-time instead of out at work all day
- being more self-sufficient in terms of food items. We've been slack at this house as we were never really going to be here long... there's been lots of reading about it and planning but little doing
- that new house of ours - it seems we are going around in circles, don't know what step to take next
- regaining my fitness. It has disappeared since I became a mum. I miss the dancing and karate days...
10. What do you talk to others about?
- DS
- sewing
- gardeing
- strawbale homes
- life
- parenting
11. What is it that inspires you and has consistently inspired you?
- talking to people with similar ideals as myself - it is always inspiring to discuss your thoughts and plans with others and to hear theirs
12. What are your longest held goals?
- um... apart from the big stuff, like a happy life-long marriage (which is coming along nicely), it would be that new house that we have been dreaming of building for many years now. Too many years, it is time to make it happen!
The results? My values and goals:
What does this show about me? That I'm hyper-focused on DS? and my desire for a new house! And that I love being creative and making things. Hmm... I guess that translates into the ultimate desire to provide a homely home for my family and to be part of a loving and happy family.
What are your responses to the questions?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)